One of my weaknesses in writing is humor. I don't know how to be funny. While other writers are light-hearted and witty (people like T.J. Loveless and Janet Evanovich immediately come to mind), I'm sitting here writing serious stuff all the time.
I don't even know if I can be witty in my writing because the truth is, I'm scared to be. I've always had a sense of humor that was different than the people I know in real life. Until I met my fiance, who thinks that most of the jokes I crack are hilarious, I just assumed that I was too socially awkward to be funny. When people told me that they liked people that were witty, I always used to laugh in my head and go,"That's so not me!"
Sometimes I show people funny videos I've seen online. It doesn't really surprise me anymore when they roll their eyes or look bored. And there have been many times that I've cracked a joke and been met by shocked faces. Because in real life, I'm generally a shy person, so when I make a joke, most of the time people are surprised that I'm even speaking.
I think one of the worst instances of this was at my cousin's wedding shower a few years ago. We made fake wedding dresses out of toilet paper as a competition. I don't like taking competition seriously, so my team decided to be ridiculous. I was the model for the team, so they had to put the clothing on me. We stapled paper plates to the chest of my t-shirt, wrapped toilet paper around my skirt, and I grabbed a wine bottle. When it was my turn to "walk down the runway", I slurred my speech and acted like the drunkest bride ever. I thought it was hilarious, but I could tell my cousin thought it was kind of weird.
Then we were given sheets of paper where we were supposed to fill in the blanks with advice for the bride. I was a virgin at the time (although things have changed) with an immature sense of humor, so I thought saying something sexual would be funny and shocking. All of them said "Never-" and "Always-" with a few other words. There was a question that said "When you are married, never let your best friend ________" and I immediately thought "When you are married, never let your best friend have a threesome with you and your husband" because I've met several guys that I've heard say they wanted to do this very thing.
Then I found out we had to read the advice out loud and I thought no one was going to take it seriously because I had been acting ridiculous the whole night. Instead, all their mouths dropped open and they stared at me in shock.
One of my Aunt's said to my mother. "I think she's lying to you about still being a virgin!"
My Mom said she was so embarrassed and she says some pretty humiliating things on occasion. That's when I knew that I had done something really stupid.
It's moments like those that have made me think. "Wow. I'm really not funny at all." And makes me terrified to write anything silly. Because I'm scared people won't laugh.
It's why for months, I've been laughing at the fact that the ASIN number of my Pandora's Mistake book has the word "Boob" in it, but I haven't told anyone but my fiance. (The ASIN number is B00BRQINMI.)
I love stand-up comedy and have gone to a comedy club with my fiance several times within the last six months. What I fail to realize is that not everyone thinks those comedians are funny. In fact, it varies from crowd to crowd. Some nights they are met with silence, others they are met with laughter. People get offended by them, people agree with them. It's what happens when you try to be funny.
And there's nothing wrong with that. People may think that me laughing about the ASIN number of Pandora's Mistake is immature, but who cares?
Writers write to let go. To get stories off their mind. We want to express feelings, desires, and struggles through our writing. It's not about caring about what people will think, it's about art.
And whenever I get too scared about what people will think or whether my books will sell, it makes it impossible to write. It's why I'm too scared to write something witty or funny. But I should just let go.